Sunday, September 7, 2008

Manic


I just finished reading this book. It was great. It has taught me so much about myself. Before I kind of knew some warning signs of when I am getting down, but I never really thought about the ups. I am in no way blaming my behavior on my disease, I guess now I can simply understand it better. Here are some of my favorite quotes:
"How could I ever hope to tell a normal person about the terrors of being happy?"
I have always hated the way I act when I'm "in a really good mood" and have never understood way I sometime just blurt thing out that I regret later.
"When you're headed towards mania, the slightest sensation hot wires your nerves."
This is when I get in the most trouble. Some of my past mistakes happened because of this. It is also a time of extreme irritability, and when I usually get into fights with people.
"The cruelest curse of the disease is also its most sacred promise: you will not feel this way forever."
Amen
I definitely recommend it to anyone who is bipolar or living with such a person. It just might help you too.

3 comments:

Kim said...

Amber, I appreciate you talking about this. I know cute boy's mental illness challenges are on the milder end of the spectrum (for now, and I also recognize that might change).

Talking about depression has really helped Todd and I. I'm more easily able to recognize his trigger points, and it makes for an easier marriage. Having that open communication also helped when I struggled a little with post partum depression. Todd was able to say,
"Hey, you're depressed." And I could say, "I guess I am".

Living with someone who struggles with depression has given me such a better understanding of those who also struggle with it. I get tired of comments from others along the lines, they (people who struggle with mental illnesses) must be doing something wrong, or they just need to realize it's Satan working on them. Someone said that in church a couple months ago. I bit my tongue but wanted to say, you have NO idea. I'm grateful for the new level of compassion I now have in my life. In a strange way I feel like depression has been good for my relationship with Todd. I have also learned that the way Todd and I work on this is probably very different from the way you and John do, etc.

I wish more people talked about this stuff. Maybe my cousins would still be here.

Thanks for reading my novel. Obviously this is a hot button for me.

Suzanne said...

You are such a brave young woman to talk to openly about this. I love and appreciate you more and more each time you learn something new about yourself. If only all of us were this honest with ourselves and could find out what makes us tick....I love you Love, MOM

Melissa said...

Amber, I too think you are brave to talk about this so openly. The stigma given to any mental illness needs to be erased as it is an illness and not something you can choose or completely control. I have depression and anxiety issues for which I finally starting taking meds late this past winter. After the initial few weeks I've seen very positive changes in myself. I no longer want to sleep all day and actually feel motivated to get things done. My house shows the difference! I'm also able to sleep better which makes a world of difference. I still have my issues and need to be sure I take my meds (and I wish they were more potent at times) but I'm doing much better. I might read this book also, as maybe even though it's not exactly what's wrong with me, it may still give me some insights to my own problems.